Dear Hawaii Five-0,
Sep. 1st, 2017 02:58 pmDear Hawaii Five-0,
For the past seven years, we’ve been an item. Even during the off seasons, I had my TNT reruns, my DVD box sets and digital episodes, my fanfiction, and my DVR. Everyone close to me has had to listen to me gush over our good times and commiserate with me during some of our more difficult moments.
I must confess to a growing sense of unease that has been rising inside of me for some time. I’m not sure when it began, but it’s been something I’ve actively been trying to clarify in my own mind for the past season.
This wonderful world we live in filled with people of all kinds. But sometimes when I watch you, I feel that we see this world so very differently. In my view, people of all ethnicities and physical attributes date each other. That’s not to say that I never met people who dated a specific race or physical type exclusively, but even some of them would at least pause at a beautiful smile or soft voice, regardless of their self-imposed restrictions.
I began to realize that, especially in a state filled with Hawaiians, not once did I see your two male leads ever express the slightest interest in anyone not white and thin. I figured that eventually Danny or Steve would go on at least one date with a native Hawaiian – I’m not a numbers person, but it seems that the odds would favor this idea, especially considering their daily interactions. This makes it strange that the most exotic adult relationships consist of Hawaiians with Caucasians.
In the season three, episode ten, “Huaka’I Kula”, Danny had great rapport with Grace’s Aloha Girls troop leader, Madeline. They were funny and feisty, and it would’ve been so much fun to see them date for a while. The actress playing Madeline, Lesley Boone, knows her way around both comedy and drama. Oh, but wait. She’s curvier than absolutely anyone Steve and Danny have ever dated. Did it even cross anyone’s mind about trying them together for a while?
I thought not.
I’d been waiting for maybe a montage of Steve and Danny going through lots of dates, doing silly things that showed just how dating challenged they are. It could’ve been fun, along the lines of their carguments. All manner of women could’ve been included. In less then ten minutes, Catherine, Gabby, Melissa/Amber, and Lynn wouldn’t just be examples of two Caucasian men who only dated Caucasian women but rather women whose personalities just vibed with these guys. Instead, it just feels like the only innovation this reboot has made from the original is casting Kono as a woman.
Oh, but wait. Grace Park had already just done that on “Battlestar Galactica”.
I will give you points for having Grace date William – my head almost exploded in surprise when I saw that! And I took it as a sign of hope. It was possible that our relationship could be saved! Maybe I was just being too sensitive.
You have no idea how relieved I felt. Our relationship didn’t have to change; we could still hook up Friday nights – and other evenings, TNT permitting.
Then I got word that Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park were leaving the show.
I could maybe understand Grace. She was raised in Canada and fairly recently had a child; maybe she wanted to move closer to her family.
But Daniel? He and his family have called Hawaii home since he worked on “Lost”, and he has consistently proved his dedication and loyalty to the show. He was there for me during our season three troubles. Even when I couldn’t necessarily count on anyone else, I knew he had my back. He had ALL of our backs.
And he still challenges himself while still remaining true to us. He acted in “The King and I” on Broadway when the show was on hiatus. He appeared on “Live with Kelly” during the off season – or when they went on location to Hawaii. Each time, he was a wonderful advocate for the show.
I must confess that he wasn’t the reason I was initially attracted to you, but many times he convinced me to stay with you, and each time, he was proven right.
Which was why I just KNEW something was off about his leaving; why would someone who’d proven to be reliable, dedicated, and committed just up and leave?
Because he was good but not good enough.
Turns out, he was the foster child who’d found a family and gotten his very own bedroom only to be shoved into the attic when the parents became pregnant, learning that he was good, just not good enough.
And he’s supposed to be grateful that he still has a room in the house.
Of course, Daniel Dae Kim has been handling this with his customary class and dignity, focusing on his good experiences and the positive times he had with you, of which I’m sure are many.
But I guess I’m just not that classy or dignified. I’m hurt and disappointed. I’d hoped that my other issues were just my being sensitive. But now, right in front of my face, the proof shows that a person’s skill, dedication, and faithfulness doesn’t matter. Being there from the beginning, holding down the fort when others needed to be away, amounted to a handful of peanuts from the sack in the back office, the attic in the large house when you’re different.
I look at you and don’t recognize you. Maybe I’m just finally seeing you as you are. Maybe it’s my fault for assuming that you at least tried to look at the world with an open mind and a feeling of inclusivity.
If you don’t think you have enough money to go around, then look at what must be a massive casting budget – as much as I enjoy the stunt-casting, I’d rather you take a little of that money (their fee, travel, accommodation, per diem, etc.) and spend it on those who deserve it, those who’ve earned it right in front of you.
Maybe you think I’ve taken our relationship too seriously. Maybe I have. But it’s impossible for me to stick with something for this long, weathering both the good and the trying times, without becoming attached.
Regardless, after seven years I’m going to have to let you go. It’s going to be difficult breaking habits that have become ingrained all this time. But if I stayed with you now, after confirmation of who you really are, I’d be engaging in an unhealthy relationship that goes against who I am and what I believe.
Especially in these times, I need to surround myself with people I know have my back and those I can trust. That’s obviously not you. And if I don’t stand with those who embrace inclusivity and equality, then how do I explain my behavior to the little ones in my house who watch what I do and listen to everything I say?
So I’m going cold turkey: No more Facebook or Twitter notices, no more fanfiction, internet searches, IMDB checks, episode discussions, DVR recordings, season digital purchases and box set purchases. My laptop and phone wallpapers will be changed. No more “Hawaii” magazine or flipping through “Watch” magazine for anything about you (although I will keep my “Entertainment Weekly” and “TV Guide” – you may have been my Favorite, but you weren’t my Only).
This is where Daniel would probably wish you the best. The most this disillusioned person can do is say that I don’t wish you ill.
Sincerely,
Me
For the past seven years, we’ve been an item. Even during the off seasons, I had my TNT reruns, my DVD box sets and digital episodes, my fanfiction, and my DVR. Everyone close to me has had to listen to me gush over our good times and commiserate with me during some of our more difficult moments.
I must confess to a growing sense of unease that has been rising inside of me for some time. I’m not sure when it began, but it’s been something I’ve actively been trying to clarify in my own mind for the past season.
This wonderful world we live in filled with people of all kinds. But sometimes when I watch you, I feel that we see this world so very differently. In my view, people of all ethnicities and physical attributes date each other. That’s not to say that I never met people who dated a specific race or physical type exclusively, but even some of them would at least pause at a beautiful smile or soft voice, regardless of their self-imposed restrictions.
I began to realize that, especially in a state filled with Hawaiians, not once did I see your two male leads ever express the slightest interest in anyone not white and thin. I figured that eventually Danny or Steve would go on at least one date with a native Hawaiian – I’m not a numbers person, but it seems that the odds would favor this idea, especially considering their daily interactions. This makes it strange that the most exotic adult relationships consist of Hawaiians with Caucasians.
In the season three, episode ten, “Huaka’I Kula”, Danny had great rapport with Grace’s Aloha Girls troop leader, Madeline. They were funny and feisty, and it would’ve been so much fun to see them date for a while. The actress playing Madeline, Lesley Boone, knows her way around both comedy and drama. Oh, but wait. She’s curvier than absolutely anyone Steve and Danny have ever dated. Did it even cross anyone’s mind about trying them together for a while?
I thought not.
I’d been waiting for maybe a montage of Steve and Danny going through lots of dates, doing silly things that showed just how dating challenged they are. It could’ve been fun, along the lines of their carguments. All manner of women could’ve been included. In less then ten minutes, Catherine, Gabby, Melissa/Amber, and Lynn wouldn’t just be examples of two Caucasian men who only dated Caucasian women but rather women whose personalities just vibed with these guys. Instead, it just feels like the only innovation this reboot has made from the original is casting Kono as a woman.
Oh, but wait. Grace Park had already just done that on “Battlestar Galactica”.
I will give you points for having Grace date William – my head almost exploded in surprise when I saw that! And I took it as a sign of hope. It was possible that our relationship could be saved! Maybe I was just being too sensitive.
You have no idea how relieved I felt. Our relationship didn’t have to change; we could still hook up Friday nights – and other evenings, TNT permitting.
Then I got word that Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park were leaving the show.
I could maybe understand Grace. She was raised in Canada and fairly recently had a child; maybe she wanted to move closer to her family.
But Daniel? He and his family have called Hawaii home since he worked on “Lost”, and he has consistently proved his dedication and loyalty to the show. He was there for me during our season three troubles. Even when I couldn’t necessarily count on anyone else, I knew he had my back. He had ALL of our backs.
And he still challenges himself while still remaining true to us. He acted in “The King and I” on Broadway when the show was on hiatus. He appeared on “Live with Kelly” during the off season – or when they went on location to Hawaii. Each time, he was a wonderful advocate for the show.
I must confess that he wasn’t the reason I was initially attracted to you, but many times he convinced me to stay with you, and each time, he was proven right.
Which was why I just KNEW something was off about his leaving; why would someone who’d proven to be reliable, dedicated, and committed just up and leave?
Because he was good but not good enough.
Turns out, he was the foster child who’d found a family and gotten his very own bedroom only to be shoved into the attic when the parents became pregnant, learning that he was good, just not good enough.
And he’s supposed to be grateful that he still has a room in the house.
Of course, Daniel Dae Kim has been handling this with his customary class and dignity, focusing on his good experiences and the positive times he had with you, of which I’m sure are many.
But I guess I’m just not that classy or dignified. I’m hurt and disappointed. I’d hoped that my other issues were just my being sensitive. But now, right in front of my face, the proof shows that a person’s skill, dedication, and faithfulness doesn’t matter. Being there from the beginning, holding down the fort when others needed to be away, amounted to a handful of peanuts from the sack in the back office, the attic in the large house when you’re different.
I look at you and don’t recognize you. Maybe I’m just finally seeing you as you are. Maybe it’s my fault for assuming that you at least tried to look at the world with an open mind and a feeling of inclusivity.
If you don’t think you have enough money to go around, then look at what must be a massive casting budget – as much as I enjoy the stunt-casting, I’d rather you take a little of that money (their fee, travel, accommodation, per diem, etc.) and spend it on those who deserve it, those who’ve earned it right in front of you.
Maybe you think I’ve taken our relationship too seriously. Maybe I have. But it’s impossible for me to stick with something for this long, weathering both the good and the trying times, without becoming attached.
Regardless, after seven years I’m going to have to let you go. It’s going to be difficult breaking habits that have become ingrained all this time. But if I stayed with you now, after confirmation of who you really are, I’d be engaging in an unhealthy relationship that goes against who I am and what I believe.
Especially in these times, I need to surround myself with people I know have my back and those I can trust. That’s obviously not you. And if I don’t stand with those who embrace inclusivity and equality, then how do I explain my behavior to the little ones in my house who watch what I do and listen to everything I say?
So I’m going cold turkey: No more Facebook or Twitter notices, no more fanfiction, internet searches, IMDB checks, episode discussions, DVR recordings, season digital purchases and box set purchases. My laptop and phone wallpapers will be changed. No more “Hawaii” magazine or flipping through “Watch” magazine for anything about you (although I will keep my “Entertainment Weekly” and “TV Guide” – you may have been my Favorite, but you weren’t my Only).
This is where Daniel would probably wish you the best. The most this disillusioned person can do is say that I don’t wish you ill.
Sincerely,
Me