bymagajones: (Default)
Dear Hawaii Five-0,

For the past seven years, we’ve been an item. Even during the off seasons, I had my TNT reruns, my DVD box sets and digital episodes, my fanfiction, and my DVR. Everyone close to me has had to listen to me gush over our good times and commiserate with me during some of our more difficult moments.

I must confess to a growing sense of unease that has been rising inside of me for some time. I’m not sure when it began, but it’s been something I’ve actively been trying to clarify in my own mind for the past season.

This wonderful world we live in filled with people of all kinds. But sometimes when I watch you, I feel that we see this world so very differently. In my view, people of all ethnicities and physical attributes date each other. That’s not to say that I never met people who dated a specific race or physical type exclusively, but even some of them would at least pause at a beautiful smile or soft voice, regardless of their self-imposed restrictions.

I began to realize that, especially in a state filled with Hawaiians, not once did I see your two male leads ever express the slightest interest in anyone not white and thin. I figured that eventually Danny or Steve would go on at least one date with a native Hawaiian – I’m not a numbers person, but it seems that the odds would favor this idea, especially considering their daily interactions. This makes it strange that the most exotic adult relationships consist of Hawaiians with Caucasians.

In the season three, episode ten, “Huaka’I Kula”, Danny had great rapport with Grace’s Aloha Girls troop leader, Madeline. They were funny and feisty, and it would’ve been so much fun to see them date for a while. The actress playing Madeline, Lesley Boone, knows her way around both comedy and drama. Oh, but wait. She’s curvier than absolutely anyone Steve and Danny have ever dated. Did it even cross anyone’s mind about trying them together for a while?

I thought not.

I’d been waiting for maybe a montage of Steve and Danny going through lots of dates, doing silly things that showed just how dating challenged they are. It could’ve been fun, along the lines of their carguments. All manner of women could’ve been included. In less then ten minutes, Catherine, Gabby, Melissa/Amber, and Lynn wouldn’t just be examples of two Caucasian men who only dated Caucasian women but rather women whose personalities just vibed with these guys. Instead, it just feels like the only innovation this reboot has made from the original is casting Kono as a woman.

Oh, but wait. Grace Park had already just done that on “Battlestar Galactica”.

I will give you points for having Grace date William – my head almost exploded in surprise when I saw that! And I took it as a sign of hope. It was possible that our relationship could be saved! Maybe I was just being too sensitive.

You have no idea how relieved I felt. Our relationship didn’t have to change; we could still hook up Friday nights – and other evenings, TNT permitting.

Then I got word that Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park were leaving the show.

I could maybe understand Grace. She was raised in Canada and fairly recently had a child; maybe she wanted to move closer to her family.

But Daniel? He and his family have called Hawaii home since he worked on “Lost”, and he has consistently proved his dedication and loyalty to the show. He was there for me during our season three troubles. Even when I couldn’t necessarily count on anyone else, I knew he had my back. He had ALL of our backs.

And he still challenges himself while still remaining true to us. He acted in “The King and I” on Broadway when the show was on hiatus. He appeared on “Live with Kelly” during the off season – or when they went on location to Hawaii. Each time, he was a wonderful advocate for the show.

I must confess that he wasn’t the reason I was initially attracted to you, but many times he convinced me to stay with you, and each time, he was proven right.

Which was why I just KNEW something was off about his leaving; why would someone who’d proven to be reliable, dedicated, and committed just up and leave?

Because he was good but not good enough.

Turns out, he was the foster child who’d found a family and gotten his very own bedroom only to be shoved into the attic when the parents became pregnant, learning that he was good, just not good enough.

And he’s supposed to be grateful that he still has a room in the house.

Of course, Daniel Dae Kim has been handling this with his customary class and dignity, focusing on his good experiences and the positive times he had with you, of which I’m sure are many.

But I guess I’m just not that classy or dignified. I’m hurt and disappointed. I’d hoped that my other issues were just my being sensitive. But now, right in front of my face, the proof shows that a person’s skill, dedication, and faithfulness doesn’t matter. Being there from the beginning, holding down the fort when others needed to be away, amounted to a handful of peanuts from the sack in the back office, the attic in the large house when you’re different.

I look at you and don’t recognize you. Maybe I’m just finally seeing you as you are. Maybe it’s my fault for assuming that you at least tried to look at the world with an open mind and a feeling of inclusivity.

If you don’t think you have enough money to go around, then look at what must be a massive casting budget – as much as I enjoy the stunt-casting, I’d rather you take a little of that money (their fee, travel, accommodation, per diem, etc.) and spend it on those who deserve it, those who’ve earned it right in front of you.

Maybe you think I’ve taken our relationship too seriously. Maybe I have. But it’s impossible for me to stick with something for this long, weathering both the good and the trying times, without becoming attached.

Regardless, after seven years I’m going to have to let you go. It’s going to be difficult breaking habits that have become ingrained all this time. But if I stayed with you now, after confirmation of who you really are, I’d be engaging in an unhealthy relationship that goes against who I am and what I believe.

Especially in these times, I need to surround myself with people I know have my back and those I can trust. That’s obviously not you. And if I don’t stand with those who embrace inclusivity and equality, then how do I explain my behavior to the little ones in my house who watch what I do and listen to everything I say?

So I’m going cold turkey: No more Facebook or Twitter notices, no more fanfiction, internet searches, IMDB checks, episode discussions, DVR recordings, season digital purchases and box set purchases. My laptop and phone wallpapers will be changed. No more “Hawaii” magazine or flipping through “Watch” magazine for anything about you (although I will keep my “Entertainment Weekly” and “TV Guide” – you may have been my Favorite, but you weren’t my Only).

This is where Daniel would probably wish you the best. The most this disillusioned person can do is say that I don’t wish you ill.

Sincerely,

Me
bymagajones: (Default)
Signs of Life, by Bymaga Jones


Fandom: “Signs” (2002 feature film)

Characters: Office Caroline Paski, Graham Hess

Rating: K

Word Count: 2,400+

Summary: Officer Caroline Paski finds herself checking on the Hess family, and she tells herself it's part of the job.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Click here to read the story )

For a list of my fanfic posted here
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Chapter 12


Click here to read Chapter 13 - Epilogue )


A/N: The final installment. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.  Comments and constructive criticism are welcome, no matter when you read this. I hope, if you have time, that you drop me a line and let me know what you think.

Story master page
bymagajones: (Default)
Title: The Friends You Make Here…
Pairings: Eventually Nick/Monroe, a few other assorted, past and present
Rating: Let’s say T, for language
Disclaimer:  Not mine.
Word Count: approx. 49,000
Summary: College AU. – Nick meets Monroe and thinks he’s kind of cute.  Monroe doesn’t want to get attached, but Nick has plans – and helpful friends.
Notes: I want to thank SquidgiePDX for once again patiently going through this and making it so much better.  As always, you are the bestest alpha and beta reader EVER.  Any remaining mistakes are all mine.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8a
Chapter 8b
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13 – Epilogue
bymagajones: (Default)


Title: The Friends You Make Here…
Pairings: Eventually Nick/Monroe, a few other assorted, past and present
Rating: Let’s say T, for language
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: approx. 49,000
Summary: College AU. – Nick meets Monroe and thinks he’s kind of cute. Monroe doesn’t want to get attached, but Nick has plans – and helpful friends.
Notes: I want to thank SquidgiePDX for once again patiently going through this and making it so much better. As always, you are the bestest alpha and beta reader EVER. Any remaining mistakes are all mine.

The story is complete, and I'll post a chapter every other day so I have time to review each one more time.

Click here to read chapter )



On to Chapter 2

bymagajones: (Default)
My sister and brother-in-law have been out of town for a bit, so it's just been the 5 kids and me. We've started to develop our own rhythm, not an easy feat with none of the kids attending the same school.

Today was unusual, because four of the kids attend school here in Maryland, and they were off for the primary. The 5 year old, however, attends a private pre-school in Virginia that was still open. So I awoke earlier than usual, got him ready, and headed out the door. The idea was that since I left early, I could return home early, maybe sleep for another half hour, and get more done.

It took about three times longer to get him there than if I'd left two hours later, the time I usually depart. The drive was probably one of the most painful commutes I've ever driven ("painful" as opposed to "stressful", which is what I would term the... was it 6? hours it took me to arrive home after the ice-roads debacle a few months back) ; I don't know how people do it every day.

But it totally made me appreciate the drive home, even though I wasn't able to crawl back into bed and sleep a little longer when I got back.

Loads of laundry and dishes later, the 3 year old and I were off in my car to pick up the 5 year old. I'd already cleared the bed back home in the hopes that the baby would fall asleep in the car (like he did yesterday), but instead, he said he got something in his eye and cried all the way home. I stopped off at a 7-11 to try to rinse off his eye, but it didn't seem to do any good. A man who'd parked fairly closely came and asked if we were okay, said he had kids of his own and wanted to make sure we didn't need any help. I said we were fine, but it was incredibly sweet of him to ask. Before I left the parking lot, I texted my sister, who I knew was probably in a meeting, in the hopes that she'd be able to give me some tips if and when she was on a break.

We got home; the baby's eye seemed fine after I suggested that he take a nap to make it feel better (yeah, he wasn't buying it either).

I wasn't feeling all that well, so I just decided that we were going to have a quick Wendy's dinner, and then I'd start the baths (a production involving gathering towels, wash cloths, toys, bubble bath, and pajamas; and the 3 year old going to the bathroom beforehand after some unfortunate experiences).

That's when my car died. Right in front of a stoplight. On a busy street. During rush hour.

And when I say, "died", I mean even the hazards weren't working. A nice young police officer offered to push me out of traffic, but neither of us could put the car into neutral (he even tried some fancy stuff with the gear shift, but the car was giving us nothing).

I wasn't prepared. With a 2001 Nissan, I should've coordinated with my sister and brother-in-law to have a plan in case this happened, and I totally didn't do it. After a call with my brother-in-law, I decided to try a place that we've been to a multitude of times. The cop called for me, but the shop was closed, so he moved down to the next place on the list, and they came pretty quickly. Fortunately, the tow truck driver wasn't put off at the fact that the car couldn't get out of park, and he had her up and loaded in no time whatsoever. He gave me their business card and was off.

I waved my thanks to the police officer, who peeled away on what looked like another call, and I started my hike home. I love my Birkenstocks, but the pair I was wearing passed needing new soles about a year ago and are fine for walking to and from the car, and that's about it. After the third or fourth time of their sliding off my feet so my heels hit the ground, I just took them off and walked barefoot.

Forty minutes and 1.86 miles later, I was worried about walking down a part of the road that wasn't wired for pedestrians, and a woman pulled over and asked if I needed a ride.

Her name was Dawn, and she was my saving grace today. She didn't know me, had just moved into her very own house in my direction, and took pity on me. For that, I will always be thankful. She took a leap of faith in pulling over and offering a ride to someone who could've had nefarious plans in mind. For those who pray, please throw in a good word for her (she's looking for a good job, so maybe add that too). For those who don't, please just toss some good vibes her way.

I got home in time to dry off the boys and put them in their pajamas (I cleaned my dirty feet in their bathwater, a quick and easy way to do that so I could put a bandage on the sizable blister growing on the ball of my foot) before I threw them both in my sister's minivan and went to Wendys - because the kids still needed to eat, and I was suddenly starving myself.

The plan was to stay up late and do things like another load of dishes, but the baby went to sleep beside me, and I found myself following suit before 10pm.

So, stressful day but I found bits of it made me appreciate what I have, like my sister's car. And kids big enough to put the little ones in the bathtub. And five good kids who didn't burn down the house while their aunt hiked home barefoot.
bymagajones: (Default)
Chapter 19

**Author's Note: Well, this is it.  Thanks for going on the ride with me.  And if you're reading this months, years from now, please still comment - It's nice to know that people are still reading and (hopefully) enjoying.


Chapter 20

The sound of a car driving up and idling in the area had distracted the Skalengecks enough for Nick to stagger away, dragging his bad leg behind him. He’d dropped behind a log, pulled himself behind a tree. He thought he’d lost a little time after that, remembering opening his eyes to find the best sight ever: Monroe’s concerned face. He watched as Monroe’s eyes flickered toward the Skalengecks, and he knew that they weren’t going to get off easy. The former cop inside of him didn’t make a noise as Monroe woged and leapt on top of one of the Skalengecks.

Watching Monroe was a revelation. Nick had been in many fights with Monroe, hell, they’d literally fought back to back, and he knew that Monroe was a deadly force – anyone who could pull off an arm wasn’t someone to be taken lightly – but this was altogether different. The Monroe he knew, the weider vegetarian Blutbad who enjoyed microbrews and organic fruit became this wolf filled with rage and righteous indignation. He ripped into one of the Skalengecks, tearing him apart with his teeth and claws, his growls getting deeper with each shake of his head. He’d stepped on the Skalengeck Nick had shot, who hadn’t moved from the ground, and ignored the third until he’d gotten stabbed in the side.

Nick had winced, knowing firsthand how it felt having that blade slide into his skin.

The wolf barely stopped growling and turned toward the last remaining Skalengeck, blood and meat dripping from his muzzle.

Nick sighed and coughed, feeling a pain in his ribs as he thought that if the Skalengeck had had any intelligence, he’d have run away. Instead he’d stuck his knife into Monroe, managing to anger the wolf and gain its attention.

It was over in less than a minute. Nick remembered the wolf running over to him, whining as he nudged his bloody muzzle over Nick’s arm. “Monroe, I need to you call Hank. Can you do that?” Monroe hadn’t automatically changed back, but Nick didn’t know if it were by choice.

Monroe huffed and turned in circles, obviously torn between running back to the road or staying with Monroe.

“Go,” Nick whispered, knowing Monroe could hear him. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

And that was the last thing he remembered before waking to Monroe and Hank whispering to each other in his hospital room.

He must’ve moved or made a noise, because he felt the warmth of Monroe’s hand pressed against his. “Nick, you awake?”

Nick managed to moan an, “m’wke.”

“Do you know where you are?” Hank’s voice.

“H’sptl.”

“You remember what happened?”

“Three Sklng’ks.”

“There were only two,” Monroe corrected.

“Three. Sh’t one b’for you got thr’.” He almost smiled when he realized he could almost hear Monroe frown.

“I only remember two.”

“No, there were three,” Hank corrected. “Bud and I found enough body parts for three separate bodies.” His tone indicated that it hadn’t been a good time.

Monroe shifted, his clothes a whisper against his chair. Nick imagined his running an embarrassed hand through his hair. “Yeah, sorry about that.”

“Hey, you saved Nick. While I don’t really want have to sort through that again – ever – I’m glad that you’re both still breathing.”

Nick heard the door open, a female voice saying, “Mr. Monroe, why don’t you come this way?”

“I’m fine!” Monroe protested. “I have an ice pack for my eye.”

“Yeah, but you’re dripping blood on the floor,” Hank pointed out.

“That’s not mine.”

“Stab’d. In th’side,” Nick offered helpfully.

“What?” More shifting from Monroe. “Oh.”

“I’ll stay here with him,” Hank promised. “Go get fixed up.”

Monroe leaned close, pressing his forehead against Nick’s. “I’ll be right back.”

Nick hummed his agreement, enjoying the brief warmth before Monroe stepped away.

He heard the door close, the screech of Hank’s chair sliding closer to the bed. “I know it’s been a while, but your idea of wooing really leaves a lot to be desired.”

Nick smiled. He knew he could turn his head, open his eyes, and see his ex-partner, but he was enjoying the floating feeling and just decided to enjoy the wave before the pain returned. “Did better earl’r. Went for a h’ke.”

“I guess you should’ve stopped while you were ahead.” Hank chuckled, and Nick heard a crackling sound. “Go to sleep, man. Heal. I’m just gonna sit here and read the paper. I’ll give you dating lessons when you start to feel better.”

Nick wanted to laugh, but he felt his ribs protest. Instead he just let himself float away.


Two days later Nick walked into the house, heading straight for the sofa. Mindful of his bruised rib, he collapsed gently on the cushions, happy to be home.

“I made you some lunch before I picked you up,” Monroe said, bustling inside with Nick’s bag.

Nick sighed, watching Monroe drop the bag by the stairs on his way to the kitchen.

Immediately, Monroe changed direction and headed to the sofa. “What’s wrong? Do you need a pain pill? A blanket?”

“I’m good,” Nick said, and Monroe fairly ran to the kitchen. It’d taken a couple of days before he’d been coherent enough to realize that Monroe was doing everything he could to avoid looking Nick in the eye. He moved constantly, covering Nick with blankets, adjusting the bed, drawing the curtain over the window. Nick fell asleep to Monroe puttering around and awoke to the same thing. No matter how he’d tried to get Monroe to just sit down and talk to him, he was hampered by his injuries. Now that he was home, he was determined to find out what was making Monroe so jumpy.

Monroe came in with a tray loaded with food, placing it gently on the coffee table. He handed Nick a bowl.

Frowning, Nick looked down at it. “This looks like a salad.”

“It’s not just a salad,” Monroe corrected him, his focus on the food on the tray. “It’s chunks of grilled salmon, which is rich in omega-3 and vitamins A and K. You also have green peppers, which are rich in vitamin C and help reduce inflammation. I cut up onions and added a little garlic; both are rich in antioxidants. Plus the garlic can rid the body of parasites. I also put some tomatoes in there. I brought a couple of different dressings, because I couldn’t remember which one you liked.”

“Because I don’t really eat salads,” Nick muttered, poking at a spinach leaf with his finger.

“You need to heal,” Monroe said firmly, shoving a fork into Nick’s hand.

“I could put most of this stuff on a burger,” Nick offered.

Monroe paused. “I’ll go get some ground beef from the store.” He turned, heading for the door.

“Monroe –”

“I’ll be right back.”

“Monroe!”

Monroe paused, his back to Nick.

“Just come over here and sit down for a minute.”

Monroe slowly turned, and Nick watched his eyes dart toward the kitchen as if he were trying to figure out an excuse to head in there.

“Monroe. Sit.” Nick even patted the space next to him.

G R I M M              G R I M M              G R I M M              G R I M M              G R I M M              G R I M M

Monroe sat next to Nick, wanting to be anywhere but where he was. After things had settled – after the panic of getting Nick to the hospital, coming up with a suitable story with Hank about what had happened, limping around the waiting room until a doctor had come out and informed him that he was Nick’s emergency contact, waiting for Nick to wake up in the room he’d been placed in after recovery – Monroe had a chance to sit down and think about what had happened, how he’d wolfed out and torn apart two Skalengecks in front of Nick.

At first, he’d just been elated that he could even do it at all. The feeling had flowed through him, as natural as it had ever been.

Then he started to realize that Nick had seen the whole thing. He’d shoved his muzzle, still dripping blood and flesh, into Nick’s neck.

It wasn’t as though Nick didn’t know about it – he’d read the books in the trailer, seen the pictures. But it was one thing to read about it, another to see it played out in front of you, and yet another to know you lived with that, slept in bed beside it.

This self-hatred was one of the reasons he’d gone weider. He didn’t regret what he’d done; they’d tried to kill Nick, and they weren’t going to stop until he was dead. But he did regret what he’d become to do it. And he mostly regretted that his best friend had had to watch. He was horrified at what he’d become; he didn’t want to imagine what Nick thought of him.

It was funny, actually. Monroe had returned to Portland, anticipating the time when he could leave. And now he was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to stay.

He took a deep breath, staring at the plated casserole on the coffee table. He supposed he might as well as address it instead of continuing to wait for the inevitable fallout. “Look, I know what you saw… I mean… you’re a Grimm, so you’ve seen some pretty ugly stuff, but it’s one thing to know it and another to actually see it, right? I mean watch it happening right in front of you. Watching someone you know… So it’s understandable… I mean, I can understand if you don’t want…” He balled his hands into fists and rested them on his thighs. “Look. If you want me to leave – ”

Nick’s hands took hold of Monroe’s left fist and slowly unfolded the fingers.

“Monroe, I want you to look at me.”

And this too is what he’d been avoiding. He didn’t want to see the look of horror and disgust, or even worse, fear in Nick’s eyes. Just the thought of it reminded him of the blame and anger that had been in them two years earlier. The ball of dread in his stomach gave a lurch.

“You’re starting to worry me, so I need you to look at me now.” Nick’s voice was gentle but firm, less of a demand but more of a simple statement of fact.

Monroe couldn’t resist that voice with that tone, and he braced himself as he turned to face the most important person in his life.

Nick took one of Monroe’s fists, gently opening Monroe’s hand. Finally Monroe turned his head, physically bracing himself as his eyes met Nick.

Nick smiled, pulling Monroe’s hand to his chest. “You haven’t looked me in the eye since I got myself beat up by a few Skalengecks.”

“They…” Monroe’s voice dropped off as he stared at his hand now pressed against Nick’s chest. He could always hear his Grimm’s heartbeat, but now that he’d almost lost it, feeling it meant so much more. He scrambled to remember what he was going to say. “They were going to kill you.”

“And then you saved me. You have no reason to be ashamed.”

Monroe’s eyes shot to Nick’s, and he found understanding there. Confused, he said, “I’m not ashamed.” He saw Nick’s chiding look and amended, “I’m not ashamed of who I am so much as of what you saw.”

“I’ve seen worse,” Nick said, amusement in his voice.

Something in Monroe snapped at the realization that Nick wasn’t taking this as seriously as he should’ve been. Growling, he pressed Nick against the sofa – gently, since the Grimm was still healing. “You’ve never seen me do that before.” Nick opened his mouth, but Monroe pressed forward. “You watched me tear apart two Skalengecks, and Nick, I – I enjoyed it! I relished the feel of their entrails in my mouth, their blood on my tongue. Tearing them apart with my – ”

The warm fullness of Nick’s lips against his totally derailed Monroe’s plans. He stilled, stunned, trying to reconcile that his dreams and reality had coincided. Then Nick pulled his lips away and returned with a different angle, his mouth open slightly, and Monroe’s fragile control snapped. With a groan, he grabbed the back of Nick’s head and slipped his tongue inside his mouth, and it felt like coming to a home he’d only found in his dreams.

G R I M M              G R I M M              G R I M M              G R I M M              G R I M M              G R I M M

Nick hadn’t meant to do anything other than talk to Monroe, but watching his best friend rip into himself, blame himself for saving Nick’s life… and all Nick could think about was taking the sad look away from his eyes. The next thing he’d known, he’d pressed his lips against Monroe’s, something he’d wanted to do for so long but hadn’t allowed himself. Monroe grabbed the back of Nick’s head, and something inside of Nick wondered what had taken him so long.

And then Monroe had slid his tongue into Nick’s mouth, and all Nick could think about was being surrounded by Monroe, his heat and his warmth.

A sudden pain in his shoulder forced his mouth away from Monroe’s, and he suddenly remembered that he was still healing. He opened his eyes and realized that he now lay reclined on the sofa, Monroe draped over him. The pain aside, he kind of liked it.

“Shit,” Monroe groaned, “I’m sorry.” He braced himself to pull up, but Nick tightened his arms around Monroe’s waist. “Nick, I’m hurting you.”

“It just hurt a little bit,” Nick said, “It’s feeling better already.”

“I’m too big,” Monroe muttered, still trying to get loose.

“You’re perfect,” Nick said, still refusing to let go.

Monroe stopped, sighing, his eyes catching Nick. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Okay,” Nick said, thinking quickly. “How about this?” He slowly eased himself around Monroe, sliding Monroe behind him on the sofa and edging them around until he was now on top. Grinning down at Monroe, he asked, “better?”

Monroe’s eyes, now tinged with red, still looked worried. “I’m supposed to be weider –”

“It’s my fault,” Nick broke in.

Monroe snapped his mouth closed, confusion all over his face.

“If I hadn’t tracked down that Skalengeck the other day, then those guys wouldn’t have tracked me down and pulled me out of the car. If I hadn’t called you for help – ”

“They were going to kill you! It wasn’t your fault!”

“Then how was it yours?” Nick asked evenly.

“I could’ve done something else.”

“Like what?” Nick fought his smile. “Arrest them? Oh, wait. You’re not a cop. Beat them up? You were outnumbered, and frankly, they would’ve killed you if you hadn’t woged. So basically, you’re apologizing for saving my life.”

Monroe looked confused. “You just shouldn’t have had to see –”

“The part of you that you keep hidden? The part that the bad Grimm had tried to take away from you but that you had finally gotten back? Monroe, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m still here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Monroe closed his eyes, shuddered, resting his forehead against Nick’s like they did at night when they laid side by side.

Nick waited a few seconds before cupping Monroe’s cheek. “Are you okay?”

Monroe huffed a laugh. “I should be asking you that.”

Nick shrugged carefully. “You got hurt, too. Stabbed.”

Monroe frowned. “I’m almost completely healed, but I still don’t remember that.”

“You don’t remember that third Skalengeck you wiped your feet on either,” Nick teased.

“Too soon for jokes,” Monroe grumbled.

“Just tell me the truth. Do you want this? Us?”

Monroe opened his mouth, but Nick saw the shadows in his eyes and got worried, not that Monroe wasn’t interested – he definitely kissed like he’d been into it – but Nick needed to hear Monroe actually say it.

“What?”

“I just don’t want – what if I make another mistake?”

“Another mistake?” Nick wasn’t following.

“Last time, it was Ros –”

Nick covered Monroe’s mouth. “Remember when I told you that he was after you and not me?”

Monroe’s frown deepened, and Nick could see his confusion.

“And then Hank agreed with me, but you just ignored us and forced the three of them to go to the meeting house?” He slowly lowered his hand.

“Those things never happened,” Monroe whispered.

“That’s right. We all made the mistake of thinking he was after me and not you, and it cost us three terrific people. And no, we can’t guarantee that we won’t make a mistake again. But what we can do is have each other’s backs. And I promise you this: living with you is way better than just existing without you. It’ll be epic.”

Monroe’s eyes softened.

“So let’s try this again. Do you –”

“Hell yes!”

Nick didn’t even try to keep the smile off his face or out of his voice. “Then it’s all good. We’re all good.”

“You think it’s gonna be that easy? A Grimm and a Blutbad?”

“We’re already sharing a house and a bed,” Nick pointed out. “Now we can have a little more fun in both.” He waggled his eyebrows.

Monroe chuckled. “You must be the worst Grimm ever.”

“I’m the best Grimm ever,” Nick corrected him. “I’m your Grimm.”

“My Grimm,” Monroe said in a whisper.

“My Blutbad,” Nick said, closing his eyes for the best sleep he’d had in days.


The End

<a href=" http://bymagajones.livejournal.com/26286.html "> Entry with links to each chapter </a>
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Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Monroe absently closed and locked the door behind him and headed up the stairs for a shower. Nick had been giving out strange signals all day, throwing Monroe a little off balance. It felt like he was flirting, but Monroe had never really been good at reading those kinds of signals. Rosalee – he had to swallow a moment to adjust to the sense of loss he felt even after two years – Rosalee had practically thrown herself at him before he’d realized she’d been interested. And it had been completely different with Angelina. They’d grown up together, their hormones building up inside them until one day they’d taken a look at each other and realized that they had to come together or spontaneously combust. It hadn’t started out as romantic, just rutting together like the teenaged wolves they were. Afterward, they’d just gone about their business until they’d found themselves alone again. Eventually, it had become a love of sorts, one forged in violence and blood that always left Monroe physically satiated but empty inside. A part of Monroe missed the simplicity about his life back then, the high he got from the violent sex and the bloodlust, but he wouldn’t go back to that even if Angelina were still around to tempt him. He’d found something so much better, more satisfying than he’d ever had, something that kept him grounded when temptations walked past in shades of red.

Turning weider had been one of the most simple, yet most difficult decisions in his life. He’d gone against his upbringing, all that he’d known and been raised to believe, in the hope that by becoming a better man, he’d fill up that space inside. And it had been hard. He’d moved far away from his family and his mistakes, starting fresh. But he’d been alone, without a support system, figuring it out as he went along. He’d tried meditation, raw meat, cooked meat, raw food diets, yoga. He’d attempted writing in a journal, playing various instruments, taking online college courses. Slowly he put his life together like he was working a puzzle, shifting pieces until they fit just right, discarding others that didn’t seem to apply to the portion of the picture he was attempting to create.

And before he’d met Nick, he’d done it, carved out this new existence for himself. Everyday, it was the same. He woke, did his Pilates, had breakfast, ran errands while most people were busy at their jobs, returned home to work on his clocks, had lunch, worked until dinnertime, ate in front of a book or the television – mostly PBS documentaries and cooking shows – and played his cello before retiring to bed. It was a lonely existence, but that was a small price to pay for the peace of mind that he found in his routine. He awoke every morning in the same bed instead of naked somewhere in the forest, blood under his fingernails, bruises covering his body. He fed his body organic grains and fruits, making sure his meal was balanced and filling. He engaged his brain by reading and playing the cello. He kept to himself; he’d gone days without ever speaking to another person.

Making a living had been tough. He’d gone around putting his business card on every bulletin board he could find, making contact with the local pawn shops and antique stores, taking every job available. Luckily, he didn’t have to have much contact with his customers, and in such an exclusive field, word spread fairly quickly once he’d completed some jobs and left the customers happy. Turned out, most clock aficionados appreciated his brisk, no-nonsense manner and tended to keep their conversations brief.

So he existed, using his routine to keep his inner wolf contained. It had been enough.

He mused over his change in circumstances as he absently showered the sweat of the day off himself. Nick had come crashing into his life, and suddenly just existing wasn’t enough anymore. The Grimm refused to leave him alone, dragging him back into the world, making him care about things outside the boundaries of his property. Suddenly Nick was asking him to talk some sense to a rat violinist and dragging him into the woods where a child Blutbad refused to let him go. Despite all his attempts to keep to his strict regimen, he began to feel alive again. He became a part of life, of the Grimm’s pack. He’d fallen in love with a Fuchsbau and enjoyed helping her mix potions in her shop. He spent his evenings getting dirty, fighting back-to-back with Nick, and later, with Hank and Renard of all people. Once she’d learned about and had time to absorb Nick’s Other Life, Juliette had jumped in with both feet, becoming a true friend. And then crazy Troubel had landed on Nick’s doorstep, another orphan in need of a family.

The water started to cool, and Monroe gratefully pulled his mind away from the inevitable destruction that followed.

As he got dressed, he thought about how he’d returned to Portland a shaky shadow of himself, just counting the days until he could run away again and do the penance that he deserved. But now, only a few months later, his inner wolf was starting to rise again inside. His nails had almost all grown back, and he couldn’t remember the last time his hands had shaken uncontrollably or he’d had a panic attack. He was finally taking to heart that maybe it would be okay for him to find happiness again, that maybe he didn’t deserve to live in misery.

He dried off and dressed in a pair of comfortable corduroys and a flannel shirt draped over a t-shirt and was heading down the stairs in bare feet when he heard his phone ringing. Nick had programmed the ringtone himself, Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out For a Hero”; it never failed to make Monroe roll his eyes. One night at dinner in a crowded restaurant, Nick had hidden behind a plant and given Monroe a call. He’d laughed about the other guests’ reactions for hours. Monroe hadn’t seen the humor in it and had vowed to change the tone. Once he figured out how. He’d made a mental note to ask Drew or one of the kids for help, but so far, he hadn’t remembered when any of them were around.

“Seriously, this ring tone has to go,” Monroe grumbled into the phone. It only took two wordless pants from Nick for Monroe to scoop his keys off the counter and head toward the door. “Nick, where are you?” He tried to keep his voice solid and calm, hoping Nick didn’t hear the faint tremble.

More panting.

“Nick!” Monroe jammed the keys in the ignition, but he didn’t know where to go. Nick had been intentionally vague, so Monroe didn’t even know if he should make a left or right turn out of the driveway. Desperate, he rolled down his window and stuck his head out of the car. He closed his eyes, focusing as he inhaled. After a few seconds, once he was sure he’d caught the scent, he put the phone to his ear. “I’m coming, Nick. Just hold on.” Tossing the phone onto his passenger seat, Monroe turned on the car and raced down the driveway, praying he’d get to Nick in time.

Three hours later, Monroe sat in a chair beside Nick’s hospital bed, ice pack over his right eye. He hadn’t realized he’d fallen into an exhausted trance until he blinked and saw a concerned Hank standing in front of him. “Hey,” he whispered.

Hank pulled up a chair beside Monroe and turned to him. “What happened?”

“Skalengecks,” Monroe said, shuddering.

“Those lizard things?”

Monroe nodded. By the time he’d skidded to a stop in the park’s parking lot, he’d been in a frenzy, the air around him filled with the iron tinge of blood, Nick’s blood. He barely remembered grabbing supplies from his trunk before running toward the combined smell of Nick and a Skalengeck.

It’d turned out to be two Skalengecks, actually, and they were looking for Nick, who’d evidently managed to get away from them – but not before they’d hurt him somehow. Monroe’s focus had been on finding Nick, which he’d done quickly, controlling the rage rising inside him at the sight of blood smeared along Nick’s face, his eyes closed. After a quick inventory, Monroe came to the conclusion that the wound that needed the most attention was Nick’s bloodied shoulder. Keeping track of the Skalengecks, who were now beating the undergrowth with sticks, Monroe quickly wrapped Nick’s torn- up shoulder. He finished and pressed a hand against Nick’s cheek, realizing that the only things Nick’s blood inspired inside him were an anger and a thirst for vengeance. No one messed with his Grimm.

One of Nick’s hands had come up to rest against Monroe’s, pressing Monroe’s hand firmer into his cheek. His eyes fluttering, Nick smiled faintly.

“I’ll be right back,” Monroe’d whispered, pulling away.

Nick had held on to Monroe’s hand a moment longer, saying so much with just a squeeze.

Monroe’d squeezed back, finally letting go and standing, feeling himself woge while Skalengecks had their backs to him.

It wasn’t difficult to reach inside and let the wolf out, mere seconds before he was on four legs, growling, leaping, tearing and scratching. It’d felt like he’d taken a large breath, held it, and let it out for the first time in years. He reveled in the screams, swallowing a tongue whole, piercing an eyeball with one of his nails and flicking it against a tree. The blood flowed freely, sweetly into his mouth, down his throat.

A part of him thought he should feel at least a small frisson of remorse, but ignored it to concentrate on getting Nick to help.


G R I M M              G R I M M              G R I M M              G R I M M              G R I M M              G R I M M

Nick had awakened as Monroe related his story – with the ending heavily edited, he was sure – to Hank, but he’d only had the energy to listen, eyes closed. Now that he’d heard Monroe’s side of things, Nick was starting to remember. Funny enough, the first memory to return was right after Monroe had arrived, squeezing his hand before woging and stepping up to the remaining Skalengecks. As much as he’d wanted to help, he’d known that going out there would’ve made him a liability. So instead, he’d managed to pull himself up so he could rest his head against a tree, an awkward position that made his shoulder hurt like hell, but he could see the battle going on in front of him, which was his objective.

He’d only meant to stop off at the grocery store for supplies for an indoor picnic when he’d spotted a man running down the road toward him. By this time, the rain had slowed to a gentle mist, the ensuing fog limiting the visibility. The man had come level with the car before Nick realized two things: First, the man was actually a Skalengeck, and second, he was being chased by two other Skalengecks. It had taken a few seconds later for him to learn one more thing: the chase was just a ruse to get them close enough to attack Nick before he could figure out what was happening.

He’d managed to call Monroe as they fought their way into his locked car, and he fought back as much as he could as two of them dragged him into the forest while the third shouted something about their not starting until he’d ditched the car and caught up with them. It hadn’t been easy, since the only weapon he’d had on him was the gun he’d pulled from a small shelf underneath his seat – and they’d snagged it immediately.

But he was a Grimm with experience under his belt, and he’d managed to grab a pretty hefty stick and hit one of the Skalengecks in the head. Fortunately, it had been the one with the gun, and Nick had reached for it, grabbing it just as he felt pressure on his ankle, and his body was dragged even further across the ground. Quickly, he turned and shot the Skalengeck standing over him three times before the other one kicked the gun out of his hand.

By this time, the Skalengeck who’d moved his car had returned and pulled out a wicked looking knife. Nick had managed to get in a few good licks before he’d felt the sharp pain of the blade in his shoulder.

Things had gone downhill shortly after that.


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