FIC: Finding Taylor by BymagaJones 6/6
Jun. 9th, 2009 12:39 pmRyan paced in front of his door and looked at his watch again. Taylor had five minutes before he went to her house.
His cell phone rang. “Hello?”
“Is she there yet?” Seth asked.
“No, just like she wasn’t two minutes ago when you last called.”
“Summer made me call,” Seth said before grunting in pain. “I promise, we won’t call again for at least another hour.” Summer shrieked in the background as Seth shouted, “Quiet, woman!” and disconnected.
Ryan closed his phone and tossed it on the bed just as he heard a knock on the door. Opening it, he saw Taylor, pretty as always, standing hesitantly, looking like she’d love to turn around and get back into her car. She still looked tired and worried, and Ryan could see the darkness under her eyes that she’d tried to cover up with makeup. He wondered if she’d spent the night like him, unable to sleep, missing the connection they’d used to have. The thought that he was causing her more stress provided no comfort, but he hoped that she’d realize she could rely on his strength to help her get through her mom’s illness.
Opening the door wide, Ryan gave her room. She still looked hesitant, like he was the big bad wolf. “I’m not going to jump you,” he said, sounding more irritated than he felt.
Taking a few steps in the room, she muttered quietly, “You’re not the one I’m worried about.”
Ryan felt his lips turn up in a brief smile at her mumblings as he closed the door, but he wiped it from his face when he turned back to face her. He was fighting for them, and this was their last battle. He knew they both felt it.
“Ryan,” Taylor began, taking a breath, her fingers twining around the straps of her purse.
Ryan knew the look, recognized the breath, and leaned against the door as Taylor began one of her tirades listing the reasons why they couldn’t be a couple. She talked about how she’d changed since Chrismukkah, how she wanted to start a new life, a difficult task while still being in contact with the people from the old one. It sounded a little rehearsed, and Ryan could picture her writing it and practicing it until she had it memorized. This was his Taylor, the Taylor he loved with all her quirks.
While he listened, Ryan paid more attention to how she kept moistening her lips and looking at everything but his eyes and the bed. She had such sadness in her face that it broke his heart. She needed him, even if she didn’t realize it.
Finally, as she started to slow, he stepped closer to her and watched her falter, her breath catch a little. “Do you still love me?”
She dug her fingers into her purse straps, raised her chin, and said, “No, I don’t. I’m sorry, but you’ve made me say it.”
If he didn’t know her so well – or if he’d still been the Ryan of a few days ago who only thought of the cost of being left and not of how difficult it could be being the one to leave – he’d have believed her. Instead, his heart pounding, he took the risk for them both. Gently pulling the purse from her and dropping it on the table, he said, “You’re lying.”
Her voice desperate, she started to reiterate her reasons, faltering as Ryan drew closer. She began to step backward until her legs hit the bed. Ryan was close enough to feel her deep exhalation as she held out her hand, her palm against his chest. “You said you weren’t going to jump me,” she reminded him, even as her fingers curled against him.
Ryan gently pushed her hand away, closed the gap, and wrapped his arms around her, using the hug to convey his love and his support. Not a toucher by nature, he remembered plenty of times when a hug would have made so many things bearable, and he wanted to give that to her.
At first Taylor continued to stand rigidly, arms by her side. He felt her shudder, her arms slowly raise. She gasped, and suddenly she began to cry, silent tears that shook her body.
Surprised and worried, Ryan continued to hold her. He’d only seen Taylor cry a few times, a few tears running down her cheeks that she swept aside. But these tears felt like they were being unearthed from her soul. All he knew to do was hold on to her and let her use him as a life raft.
Eventually, her crying slowed, and Ryan let her arms drop before he slid his hands down her arms to hold her hands and intertwine their fingers.
She looked up at him, her face red and shiny with tears, and Ryan thought she’d never looked more beautiful.
“I’m sorry,” she said self-consciously.
“You don’t have to apologize,” Ryan whispered. “I want to be here for you.” A look crossed Taylor’s face. “What?”
“Nothing,” she said and looked away.
Ryan sat her on the bed, let go with one hand to snag a box of tissues from the night stand, and handed the box to her. “Talk.”
Taking a tissue, Taylor told him about the last few months and how her mom had made her promise not to tell anyone.
“I’m not just anyone,” Ryan said, a little frustrated.
“Remember our last night at Sandy and Kirsten’s, when we were lying on the sofa after watching “Blood Bath 4”?”
“Sure.” How many times had he relived that night?
“You said you hadn’t had to rescue anyone in so long that you’d probably forgotten how. You looked so happy. Then I came down here and found out about mom. What was I supposed to do? Ask you to leave school and come rescue me somehow? There was nothing you could do, and I didn’t want to be that kind of girlfriend, the one who always needs to be saved.”
In all of his re-imaginings of that night, he’d forgotten about that part of the conversation. Now he remembered how he’d thought that while he still missed Marissa, he was glad he was with someone so self sufficient. “Taylor, you are one of the most capable people I know.”
A knock sounded at the door, and with a sigh, Ryan rose to answer it. He wasn’t shocked by the knock; in fact, he was a little surprised at how much time they had granted him. “I guess I didn’t mention that I’m not alone,” he said as he opened the door.
“Out of my way, Atwood,” Summer muttered as she walked to a now-standing Taylor, grabbed her by the arms, and shook her. “You never, ever, ever run away from your friends, do you hear me?” She stopped shaking Taylor and stared at her in the face before hugging her. “I’ve missed you.”
Seth sauntered in after Summer and let Ryan close the door. “After about half an hour, Summer realized that while I promised we wouldn’t call for an hour, I hadn’t said anything about not visiting.”
“It’s okay,” Ryan said and realized that the knot inside him had disappeared. Taylor was right where she was supposed to be – with him.
Summer pulled away from Taylor and asked, “Are you crying?”
Taylor grabbed another tissue. “I’m sorry. I’ve just felt so alone…” She blew loudly.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your best friend.”
“I promised mom I wouldn’t say anything. Besides, if I told you, you’d tell Seth. Then Seth would tell Ryan, and I didn’t want to be a burden.”
“What about college?” Summer asked.
“I graduated early,” Taylor shrugged, like it was done everyday. “I got my diploma in the mail the other day.”
“What’d your mom say?” Summer asked.
“It really hasn’t come up,” Taylor said. “She has a lot to deal with…”
Summer pushed Taylor onto the bed and sat beside her, taking her hand. “How is your mom?”
Taylor covered a yawn with her hand. “We have our fingers crossed that we found it in time.” Flopping back on the bed and closing her eyes, she added, “That reminds me. She needs breakfast and her pills. This bed feels really good, much better than that sofa bed I’ve…“
Summer looked at Ryan and Seth. “She just fell asleep. She must be exhausted.”
“Of course she is,” Seth said. “She’s been handling Veronica Townsend all by herself for three months.”
“Ryan, stay with her. Seth and I will go over and take care of Veronica.”
“What?” Seth asked.
Summer ignored him and rooted around Taylor’s tiny purse. “House keys,” she muttered, slipping them off the key ring, “and what is this?” She opened a sheet of paper and started to read, “Ryan, the past few months, since Chrismukkah, I’ve really changed.”
Smiling, Ryan snatched the paper from Summer. “I’ve already heard that once today, thanks.”
Summer laughed and continued to dig in Taylor’s purse. “Here’s her to-do list.” She handed it to Seth.
“Eight am, meet Ryan. 8:30am, give mom breakfast and pills,” he read. “Look, Ryan, she gave you half an hour.”
“Let’s go,” Summer told Seth, pulling him to the door. She turned to Ryan. “Tell her not to worry about her mom. Seth and I can take care of Veronica. After all, I’ve been fighting big business for years.”
“But this is Veronica,” Seth whined, opening the door.
Ignoring Seth, Summer added, “We’ll call the Cohens on our way and let them know that everything’s going to be okay. I’m sure Taylor has lists at her place that will tell us how to take care of Veronica. Besides, the woman has no hair or makeup. How scary can she be?” Summer walked out of the room.
Seth paused, staring at her back as she left. “Are you kidding? That sounds like the opening scene from a horror movie.” He turned to Ryan and mouthed, “Help me!”
“I heard that,” Summer called.
“I didn’t say anything,” Seth yelled, whispering proudly to Ryan, “That woman has the ears of a bat.” He closed the door behind him.
Ryan looked down at Taylor, who for the first time since he’d run into her at the pier, looked totally at peace, her hair scattered, a hand up to her mouth. He took off her shoes and smiled when she curled her toes. Carefully pulling down the covers as much as he could, Ryan picked her up and placed her between the sheets.
“Ryan,” Taylor muttered, and Ryan had to pause a moment to run a finger down her soft cheek.
After a brief hesitation, Ryan kicked off his own shoes and slid into bed beside her. Without hesitation, Taylor rolled over to him and placed her head on his chest, wrapping her arm around him. “I’ve missed you.”
They had a lot to discuss, but for now, it was enough to have her with him. Ryan kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes, content to just be with the woman he loved and thought he’d lost.
Master Page Here
Part 1 here
Part 2 here
Part 3 here
Part 4 here
Part 5 here